Funny Shayari in English

My bank balance is like a ghost,
Everyone talks about it, but I never see it.

Humne bhi kabhi pyaar kiya tha,
Par badle mein sirf udhaar mila tha.

I am not lazy at all,
I am just on energy saving mode.

Ishq mein humne kya kuch nahi kiya,
Pehle recharge karaya,
Phir unhone humein block kar diya.

Don’t follow your heart,
Follow my advice and go to sleep,
Because your heart is already broken.

Chaand ki chahat mein sitare mil gaye,
Hum toh single hi reh gaye,
Aur saare dost kanware mil gaye.

I wanted to lose weight this month,
But my mom made aloo paratha,
And my willpower just walked out the door.

Dosti ka rishta bada ajeeb hota hai,
Jo dost sabse zyada gaali deta hai,
Wahi dil ke sabse kareeb hota hai.

Love is blind, but the neighbors are not,
So please keep your romance quiet,
Or your dad will find out the plot.

Zindagi mein do hi cheezein mushkil hain,
Ek subah jaldi uthna,
Aur doosra bina roye kaam pe jana.

Love is like a butterfly,
It looks pretty until it disappears,
And leaves you crying in the room.

Dil mein aag lagi hai tere pyaar ki,
Par cylinder khatam ho gaya,
Ab chai kaise banau yaar mere?

If you love someone, let them go,
If they come back, no one else wanted them,
So you should probably let them go again.

Tere chehre pe muskan dekh kar,
Dil ko bada sukoon milta hai,
Lekin jab tu paise mangti hai, toh dard hota hai.

My love for you is like a circle,
It has no end and no corners,
Just like the rotis my sister makes.

Teri yaad mein humne pen uthaya,
Lekin kismat toh dekho meri,
Poora panna khaali reh gaya, kyunki ink khatam tha.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am not looking for a soulmate,
I just want someone who shares food with me.

Tumhare bina meri zindagi adhoori hai,
Jaise bina namak ke biryani,
Aur bina recharge ke mera phone.

I asked God for a girlfriend,
God gave me a friend who eats my lunch,
I think God misunderstood my prayer.

Pyar mein dhoka isliye milta hai,
Kyunki hum dil se sochte hain,
Aur wo dimaag se setting kar lete hain.

Friends are like stars in the sky,
You can’t always see them,
But they are always there to annoy you.

Dost toh mere sabse pyare hain,
Bas kabhi kabhi lagta hai,
Ki ye pagal khane se bhage hue taare hain.

A true friend will always be there,
To catch you when you fall,
Right after they finish laughing at you.

Ae dost teri dosti ke liye duniya chhod denge,
Lekin agar tu party nahi dega,
Toh teri taangein tod denge.

We will be friends forever,
Because you already know too many,
Of my embarrassing and dark secrets.

Dosti mein log jaan dete hain,
Lekin mere dost toh aise hain,
Jo party ke naam pe sirf jaan lete hain.

funny friendship shayari in english
You are the best friend I ever had,
Mostly because you are the only one,
Who can tolerate my stupid jokes.

Dost wo hote hain jo rote hue ko hasate hain,
Aur jo zyada hase usko,
Thappad maar kar chup karate hain.

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things,
At least not alone,
They join you and make it a disaster.

Pyaar mein toh sirf dard milta hai,
Dosti mein toh purane udhaar,
Aur gaaliyan hi naseeb hoti hain.

I am a very brilliant student,
I only study during the holidays,
Which explains my current bank balance.

Kitabon mein khoya rehta hoon main,
Bas fark sirf itna hai,
Ki kitabein band hoti hain aur main soya rehta hoon.

History repeats itself,
But my grades never do,
They just keep going down every year.

Exams are coming like a storm,
And I am sitting here like a tree,
Waiting to be uprooted by the result.

Dear Maths, please grow up,
And solve your own problems,
I am tired of finding your X every time.

Padhna toh hum bhi chahte the,
Par kismat ne dhoka de diya,
Humne book kholi aur neend ne mauka de diya.

The only thing I learned in college,
Is how to sleep with my eyes open,
While the teacher is looking at me.

Exam hall mein sab shanti se baithe the,
Ek main hi tha jo chhat dekh kar,
Pura syllabus yaad karne ki koshish kar raha tha.

Teacher asked me where is my homework,
I said it’s having a party at home,
Because it was too bored to come to school.

Passing marks ke liye itni mehnat ki,
Ki ab success ke liye,
Body mein himmat hi nahi bachi.

Being single is like a walk in the park,
Except the park is on fire,
And everything is burning around you.

Log kehte hain single hona saza hai,
Par sach toh ye hai mere dost,
Ki isme hi sabse zyada maza hai.

I am not single,
I am just romantically challenged,
And waiting for a miracle to happen.

Sabki life mein koi na koi hota hai,
Ek meri hi life aisi hai,
Jisme sirf neend aur bhook hoti hai.

My prince charming is not coming,
I think his horse got lost,
Or he is stuck in Bangalore traffic.

Single rehna bhi ek kala hai,
Jo har kisi ke bas ki baat nahi,
Iske liye dil bada aur jeb khaali chahiye.

Valentine’s day is for couples,
But for me, it’s just a Friday,
Where I sleep early to avoid sadness.

Duniya mein sabka joda bana hai,
Lekin mera lagta hai,
Bhagwan ne banana hi bhool gaye hain.

I am saving myself for someone special,
But I think that person,
Is still in nursery school right now.

Mohabbat ki raahon mein dhoka hai,
Isliye hum toh single hi acche hain,
Kam se kam dil toh hamara safe hai.

Dieting is very easy,
I have done it a thousand times,
Between my breakfast and lunch today.

Khane ka shauk bhi bada ajeeb hai,
Pet bhar jata hai mera,
Lekin ye dil hamesha bhookha rehta hai.

I love you more than pizza,
But please don’t ask me to prove it,
Because I might change my mind easily.

Chai aur paratha ka combo hai best,
Baaki sab toh duniya mein,
Sirf time pass aur waste hai.

Money can’t buy happiness,
But it can buy Pani Puri,
Which is basically the same thing for me.

Biryani ki khushboo jab aati hai,
Toh duniya ki har pareshani,
Apne aap hi door ho jati hai.

short shayari in english
I am on a seafood diet,
Every time I see food,
I eat it without thinking twice.

Mummy ne kaha tha bahar ka mat khao,
Par Swiggy aur Zomato ne,
Humein bigadne ka poora plan bana liya hai.

Calories don’t count on weekends,
That is my life’s philosophy,
And the reason why my jeans are tight.

Ghar ka khana sabse accha hota hai,
Lekin jab tak restaurant ka menu na dekho,
Tab tak ye baat samajh nahi aati.

Status update is my new hobby,
Because my real life,
Is too boring to show anyone anyway.

Unhone humein block kar diya,
Jaise hum koi purana software hon,
Jo ab unke phone mein space leta tha.

I post selfies so people know,
That I am still alive and well,
Even if I am dying inside from work.

WhatsApp par tumhara online aana,
Mere dil ki dhadkan badha deta hai,
Phir yaad aata hai ki tum kisi aur se baat kar rahi ho.

Internet is like a modern oxygen,
Without it, I feel like a fish,
Trying to breathe in a desert land.

DP dekh kar unka dil machal gaya,
Lekin jab reality dekhi unhone,
Toh bechara social media hi delete kar gaya.

My battery life lasts longer,
Than most of the modern relationships,
That I see on my Instagram feed today.

Filters ne chehra toh chamka diya,
Par kismat ka kya karein,
Jo abhi bhi filters ke bina hi kaali hai.

I don’t need a hairstylist,
My pillow gives me a new look,
Every morning before I check my phone.

Zindagi mein followers badhe ya na badhe,
Lekin dushmanon ki list,
Har roz lambi hoti ja rahi hai.

I love my job only on the day,
When the message arrives on my phone,
Saying your salary has been credited.

Boss ki baatein aur ghar ki safai,
Dono hi insaan ko,
Zindagi mein bahut rulati hain.

Work from home sounded so good,
Until I realized that I am working,
From my bed, my kitchen, and even my dreams.

Monday subah uthna ek jung hai,
Jise hum har hafte haarte hain,
Aur phir office ja kar bas coffee maarte hain.

My boss is like a broken record,
He repeats the same things daily,
And expects me to listen every time.

Meeting mein baith kar sona,
Bhi ek bahut badi kala hai,
Jo sirf purane employees ko hi aati hai.

I am looking for a job where,
I get paid to stay at home,
And watch Netflix all day long.

Chai ke bina office adhoora hai,
Jaise bina kaam ke hum,
Aur bina target ke hamara boss adhoora hai.

Every email I write starts with,
I hope this finds you well,
But I actually hope you quit today.

Promotion ki umeed mein saal beet gaye,
Hum wahi purane desk par reh gaye,
Aur naye log aage nikal kar jeet gaye.

My bed is a magical place,
Where I suddenly remember everything,
I forgot to do during the whole day.

Neend toh bachpan mein aati thi,
Ab toh sirf thakaan aati hai,
Aur phone ki notification aati hai.

I am not lazy, I am just,
Highly motivated to do nothing,
For the rest of my natural life.

Ek Sunday hi toh milta hai sukoon ka,
Usko bhi mummy subah jaldi,
Pankha band karke barbaad kar deti hain.

Sleep is my best friend,
Because it never judges me,
For staying in bed for twelve hours.

Sapno mein toh hum raja hote hain,
Asliyat toh tab pata chalti hai,
Jab subah alarm baj kar humein jagata hai.

funny hindi shayari in english
The best part of waking up,
Is knowing that I can go,
Back to sleep in about sixteen hours.

Kambal ke andar ki duniya alag hai,
Bahar ki thand se kya lena dena,
Jab dil mein sirf sone ki tadap hai.

I have a condition called laziness,
It is not contagious but very effective,
At stopping me from doing any exercise.

Raat bhar jagna aur din bhar sona,
Yahi toh hamari fitness ka raaz hai,
Isme hi toh asli maza aur andaaz hai.

Money can’t buy you love,
But it can pay for your Netflix,
Which is way more reliable anyway.

Jeb mein paise kam hain,
Lekin sapne hamare bahut bade hain,
Hum toh bas kismat ke bharose khade hain.

My wallet is like an onion,
Every time I open it,
It makes me want to cry.

Month end ki garibi badi zalim hai,
Dost bhi tabhi gayab ho jate hain,
Jab humein udhaar ki sabse zyada zaroorat hoti hai.

I am stuck between,
I need to save money for future,
And you only live once, let’s buy it.

Paisa toh haath ki mail hai,
Lekin mere haath shayad,
Bahut zyada hi saaf rehte hain aaj kal.

Rich people have therapy,
I have a list of things,
That I can’t afford to buy.

Salary aane ki khushi ek din ki,
Aur jaane ka gham poore mahine ka,
Yahi toh dastoor hai is gareeb jeene ka.

I don’t care about money,
I just care about the things,
That money can buy for me.

Ameer hone ka shauk toh bachpan se tha,
Par bade hokar pata chala,
Ki ameer hone ke liye mehnat karni padti hai.

Summer is here to remind us,
That we are all basically,
Slowly cooking in a giant pressure cooker.

Sardi mein nahana ek shakti pradarshan hai,
Jo har kisi ke bas ki baat nahi,
Iske liye dil mein bada jigra chahiye hota hai.

I love winter because,
I can hide my fat under,
A giant sweater and nobody will know.

Garmi ne bura haal kar diya hai,
AC ka bill dekh kar toh,
Dil ne hi dharakna band kar diya hai.

Sun is acting like a boss,
He is always on top of us,
And making our lives very difficult.

Thand mein razai hi sab kuch hai,
Duniya ki har khushi ek taraf,
Aur garam bistar ki neend ek taraf.

Sweating is my body’s way,
Of crying because it is,
Way too hot to do anything productive.

Baarish ka mausam romantic hota hai,
Lekin road par kichad dekh kar,
Saara romance paani mein mil jata hai.

I need a personal cloud,
To follow me everywhere I go,
And keep me cool during this heat.

Winter clothes are finally out,
Ab bas unhein pehen kar,
Ghar mein hi baithe rehne ka plan hai.

My heart was broken into pieces,
But then I saw a sale,
And suddenly everything felt much better.

Dhoka mila toh kya hua,
Zindagi abhi baaki hai,
Ab dusri ki baari, humari toh tayaari hai.

Love is a sweet poison,
But I think my partner,
Was just a very bad cook instead.

Unke jaane ke baad hum toot gaye,
Phir humne unki nayi photo dekhi,
Aur hum khushi se phool kar kapa bol gaye.

funny love shayari in english
I cried for three days,
Then I realized that crying,
Doesn’t burn enough calories to be useful.

Bewafa sanam se toh accha hai,
Ki hum akele hi khush rahein,
Kam se kam dil mein sukoon toh hai.

My ex is a good person,
She taught me exactly what,
I should avoid in my future partner.

Ishq mein humne khud ko mita diya,
Par unhone toh humein,
Recycle bin mein bhi nahi rakha.

Don’t worry about a broken heart,
It will heal eventually,
Once you find a new crush to follow.

Mohabbat ke charche bahut sune the,
Par jab khud pe beeti,
Toh pata chala ki ye sab bakwas hai.

Marriage is a fine institution,
But I am not ready yet,
To be committed to an institution.

Shadi wo laddu hai jo khaye pachtaye,
Jo na khaye wo bhi pachtaye,
Isliye humne toh bina khaye hi pachtana chun liya.

A husband is like a government,
He makes a lot of promises,
But never actually follows through on them.

Biwi ki baatein aur TV ka remote,
Dono hi mere haath mein nahi hain,
Yahi toh meri shaadi shuda zindagi ka sach hai.

Wedding food is the only reason,
Why I attend ceremonies,
Of people I don’t even like.

Dulha toh aise khush ho raha tha,
Jaise usne koi killa fatah kiya ho,
Usey kya pata ki asli jung ab shuru hogi.

I want a simple wedding,
With only five thousand guests,
And a small buffet of fifty dishes.

Sasural jana bhi ek adventure hai,
Jahan aapko har roz,
Naye imtehaan dene padte hain.

Before marriage, love is blind,
After marriage, both partners,
Suddenly develop 20/20 vision for mistakes.

Shadi ke baad insaan badal jata hai,
Pehle wo sher hota hai,
Aur baad mein wo bas bura man jata hai.

Happy birthday to my dear friend,
Who is officially getting too old,
To do the stupid things we love.

Janamdin ki bahut bahut badhai ho,
Party toh banti hai mere yaar,
Lekin bill tu hi bharega is baar.

You are not getting older,
You are just becoming a classic,
Like a rusty old car in a garage.

Budhape mein kadam rakhne ki mubarakbaad,
Ab toh thoda sudhar jao,
Aur party mein achha khana khilao.

funny shayari in english
I was going to buy a gift,
But then I remembered that,
My presence is the best gift for you.

Cake toh hum pura khayenge,
Gifts hum bilkul nahi layenge,
Hum toh bas party enjoy karne aayenge.

Happy birthday to the person,
Who knows all my passwords,
But still stays friends with me.

Dua hai ki teri umar lambi ho,
Taki tu mujhse liya hua,
Saara udhaar chuka sake agle saal tak.

You are one year closer,
To becoming a crazy cat person,
Enjoy your last few years of sanity.

Tohfa kya doon tujhe mere yaar,
Tu khud hi ek bada ajooba hai,
Jise dekh kar duniya hairan hoti hai.